Friday, February 17, 2023

Life Update

 Hello there friends, long time no see. 

I have sat down at my computer a number of times over the past few weeks trying and trying to come up with the "right" words to say what has been going on with us lately, and honestly, it's all still so numb and surreal, the "right" words just aren't coming. 

A few weeks ago I was diagnosed with cancer, specifically Hodgkin's Lymphoma, stage 4. Life has been a whirlwind ever since. My doctors feel optimistic that I will be okay, Hodgkin's Lymphoma responds very well to treatment and as an otherwise healthy 35-year-old, I will come out on the other side of this healthy once again. Unfortunately due to the stage 4 diagnosis, we have a long road ahead of us before we get to "normal" again. 

I have had a port put in. 

We have had to sit the kids down and have the "mommy has cancer" talk.

I have already started my first round of chemotherapy.

I have been told to expect to lose my hair within the next 2-3 weeks. 

I am still in shock. Two months ago I was running around town doing all the Christmas activities with my kids, skiing in Colorado, living my everyday life and had no idea that I was living with this awful beast of a disease hidden underneath. 

On December 27th I woke up with a strange pain in my neck. I dismissed it, assuming I had just slept on it funny and it would go away in a day or two. It did not go away, in fact, the pain was actually getting worse. If I had slept on it funny, it wouldn’t be getting worse. That doesn’t make sense. Something was wrong. This was red flag #1.

I went to my doctor, who initially wasn’t concerned. He told me to give it a few more days, try some stretches, but if it didn’t get better within a few more days I needed to come back. Again, it wasn’t getting better, it was getting increasingly more painful. At this point I’m also having night sweats. I’m normally freezing at night and Devin teases me about how many layers I wear and how many blankets I use. Now I’m waking up drenched, so sweaty I need to change my clothes. Red flag #2.

 I went back to the doctor a few days later and they started taking it more seriously. I had x-rays, soft tissue x-rays, CAT scans, ultrasounds and blood work. Meanwhile, I started having fevers daily. Red flag #3. I knew somehow all of these weird symptoms were connected but didn't understand why.

The results of the CAT scans came back showing significantly enlarged lymph nodes. My blood work came back with multiple areas of concern. The ultrasound came back reporting some of my lymph nodes “appear malignant, consider biopsy STAT”.

At this point, my regular doctor referred me to oncology. February 1st was the first time I heard out loud “we think you have lymphoma.” They started prepping me for chemo the very next day.

In order to be 100% sure which type of lymphoma, they needed to do a biopsy. In order to be sure of the stage, they needed to do a PET scan.

On February 8th I got the call. The biopsy results came back as Classic Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, and the results of the PET scan confirmed it has spread to my bone marrow and spleen. Stage 4. 

The roller coaster of emotions is exhausting. 

- I am grateful, because at the end of this, I will survive. 

- I am scared, because it's all so new and overwhelming and I don't know how my children will take to it once this really starts to go downhill. 

- It breaks my heart to see the people I love worried/hurting/upset.

- And then I circle back to grateful. Because, again, I get to LIVE

So life for us lately has been a lot of snuggles. 

A lot of kisses. 

Staying up a few minutes past bedtime to play another game, or read another book. 

Extra desserts (because pardon my language, but who the hell cares? I ate all the dang organic vegetables out there and it clearly didn't stop this from happening.). 

And being so incredibly thankful for my wonderful support system of family, friends, church community, and school community. The people in our lives are taking very good care of us right now.

I will get through this. But gosh, these next several months are going to be rough. 


  1. Praying for you and your family during this time. 💕

  2. I am so sorry to hear about this and I hope the treatment goes as well as can be.

  3. I was reading this post with my mouth wide open. If it was a shock for me reading these news, I can only begin to imagine how it felt for you and your family. I send all the strength and perseverance to you and your family. This will be daunting and hard but you are strong and have the greatest support systems of them all. I am thinking of you all the way from Germany!!

  4. I am praying hard for you and your sweet family 🙏❤️ Hugs to all of you from South Texas. ❤️

  5. I'm shocked to read this news! Like you said, you can do everything right and it doesn't stop this terrible disease. Prayers for you all! Going into this battle strong will be such a help! Wrapping you in a virtual hug!

  6. I am so sorry you are having to go through this. There are things in life that don't make sense and this is definitely one of them. Will be thinking about you and praying for you.

  7. Oh Lauren, I am so sorry to hear this but what a fantastic attitude you have. I can just feel the Spirit of Christ in you. Praying for you to overcome this, but also praying for your babies that He will protect their minds and hearts in a supernatural way.

  8. Praying for you and your sweet family!

  9. Oh Lauren, this new literally took my breath away. I can't imagine what you have been going through and how quickly things have turned upside down. I will be praying for you and your sweet family every morning. I'm thankful that you have a good prognosis, but know the journey will be tough. Sending hugs and prayers.

  10. Praying God’s peace over you and your family during this challenging time. I will also pray for your health to be fully restored. Thank you for sharing this with your readers.

  11. I am so sorry this is happening to you. I mean, what a sudden, life altering thing. I teared up reading your post. I am glad you have a great support system and you seem to have a great perspective (as much as you can, and based only on what you've posted.) Sending so much positive vibes it will probably show up on some NASA satellite searching for foreign spy balloons or aliens.

  12. I'm so sorry to hear what you and your family are going through right now! Praying for strength, love and peace for you all during this trying time

  13. Long time reader, first time commenter. Thank you for sharing your story. Lifting you and your family up in prayer now and in coming days and sending love from my family to yours. 🙏🏻 ❤️

  14. So sorry you are going through this. I’m 5 months cancer free and am doing well. I hope the same for you! You will be in my thoughts as you navigate this new journey.

  15. oh my word. I'm so very sorry you are going through this. I know your family, friends, and faith will get you through this. You and your family will be in my prayers.

  16. Lauren, I don't have words. I'm in tears for you. for your beautiful family. For what these months will look like for you. And your incredible family. I wish I were closer to give some extra love to those kiddos. To give you a big hug. I check every morning for a new blog post and have been missing you - I can't even believe what I'm reading. I will be praying for you and your family. You are SO strong. Those organic veggies (lol), the workouts, etc have made your body strong enough to fight this hard and to come back better than ever. I'm so thankful for your emotions telling you that it's a time to be grateful. To be able to see there will be a light at the end of the tunnel, to do the extra special things with kids, the snuggles, the games, the ice cream, all the things! And I'm so glad you're sharing this so we can all be praying along side you! You've got this, Lauren!!!

  17. Praying for you to have endurance in all things for the days and months ahead. Thank you for sharing your story - to let others come alongside and it will undoubtedly help someone else.
    Angie (

  18. Oh my goodness. I am sending prayers and positive thoughts your way. Your positive attitude will serve you well. It may be rough, but you have a big group of people, in person and in the blog world, in your corner. ~ Sarah @Sunshine & Books

  19. Lauren, I am tearing up reading this. I am so so sorry you and your family are having to go through this. Sending all the prayers and best wishes for you and your entire family as you all tackle this.

  20. Lauren
    Not what I thought your post was going to be about. The C-word is a hard one to write out but as usual you did a great job. Just know your family friends and bloggers are right there in your corner ready to help you fight. Sending prayers and wishes from Utah

  21. Long time reader, first time commenter - In a sad state of shock by this news. Sending you lots of prayers and good vibes for a full recovery. You have a great outlook and attitude. Cancer treatment is never easy, and it's ok to acknowledge that some days are just more terrible than others. (As someone who has had two family members fighting cancer and receiving treatment for years, I have seen many ups and downs). Wishing you all the best and a quick full recovery. Warm regards, Katie

  22. So so sorry to read this! Will be looking for updates as you continue on this journey. I’ll be Praying for you in the days to come.

  23. Just sending prayers for comfort, peace, and full healing.

  24. Oh friend, I am so very sorry to hear about your diagnosis and am praying for a full and quick healing. Your babies are going to learn just how strong their mama is. Sending hugs and prayers.

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  26. Lauren, I am just now reading and so sorry to see this. I will keep you in my prayers that you have all the strength and healing. May God Bless you and your family.

    1. Lisa

  27. I am just now reading this and, though I only "know" you through the What's Up Wednesday posts, I am so sorry to hear this. I am glad to hear that your prognosis is good and I will be praying for your healing.