Post Cancer/Chemo Recovery-- Month 5

 Good morning and happy first Monday of break! Yesterday we packed the kids' suitcases and gave them to their grandparents for a few days, because Devin and I are on our way to Mexico-- woohoo!! This past July we celebrated our 10 year anniversary, but because I was feeling like trash in July we decided to postpone our anniversary trip until I was feeling well enough to enjoy it. I am thrilled to report that I feel GREAT and am very much looking forward to the next few days of being catered to at an all-inclusive. With no work for the next 2 weeks and no grad school for 3 weeks, I am looking forward to sitting in a lounge chair by the beach with a book glued to my hand!! Doesn't that sound like heaven?

Post Cancer/Chemo Update- Month 4

 Hello my sweet friends! How was your week? This week FLEW by. We have been busy prepping for Thanksgiving week and then immediately after, OUR TRIP TO DISNEY!! I cannot wait!! Lily Grace made a list of all the things she wants to do at Disney and I am blown away by how much she remembers from our last trip there.

Today's post will be my last post for two weeks-- we will be busy soaking up all the family time! I will see you back here December 4th. 

Today I am sharing a post cancer/chemo update, and I am so happy to report that it is filled with all happy news!

Mentally/Spiritually/Emotionally

All is well and smooth sailing on the cancer front! I won't lie, I've been a little stressed with going back to work full time AND grad school, while also being a mom-- but that isn't related to cancer. As far as cancer/health related things go, I truly am just so grateful every single day to wake up and feel well. I am happy to report that I am recovered from pneumonia, and back to feeling as close to my old self as I have felt in a long time. Feeling well physically makes all the difference in my mental health too. 

Sometimes, out of the blue, I get hit with an overwhelming wave of emotion where I think "I can't believe that happened" and I cry. It is never a feeling of "woe is me," but more a feeling of disbelief. Feeling like "I can't believe I went through that. I can't believe my family went through that." And then... I always come away from those emotions genuinely feeling like our little family is stronger because of what we went through together. Looking back, now that it's "over", it's crazy to believe it really happened.

In the beginning of treatment I had been seeing a therapist to help with all the emotions from being diagnosed and going through treatment. To be honest though, the therapist and I weren't really a great fit and I felt like it wasn't as beneficial as it could've been. I stopped going after 4 sessions. After my girls weekend with my two best friends, I'm thinking about maybe looking for another therapist. Because everything was such a whirlwind, I never had a chance to process it. I don't want that to come back to haunt me in the future. 

Physically

Like I said above, I am physically feeling the best I have felt since this whole cancer debacle began. I am still not running, but I feel like my energy is back and my physical fitness is slowly getting there too. The neuropathy has decreased significantly. The muscle myalgia is minimal, and I only needed my Tramadol 1 day this entire month. I haven't been taking it, or having the prescription refilled, yet my insurance felt the need to send me a note telling me if I tried to refill it between now and January, I'd get denied-- isn't that interesting?? I guess technically it's an opiod so they have to be really strict about how many refills you get. I'm very grateful I don't need it anymore. 

I have enough hair that I even blow it dry some mornings! Haha! 

You're probably looking at this picture and thinking "really? You blow that dry?" but I don't want to put my wig on a wet head, and it takes too long to wait for it to air dry!

All in all, it feels good to feel like myself again! I am looking forward to the day I can run again-- that feels like the last big thing I'm missing out on. I have a feeling January 2024 will be a great time to start that back up!

Today I am linking up with Andrea and Erika for Friday Favorites. Have a great weekend!!

Post Cancer/Chemo Update-- Month 3

 Hello friends! Happy Friday! Before we begin, I wanted to share a little sneak peek of our fall family pictures with you. We are so happy with how they came out!!

Post Cancer/Chemo Update Month 2

 Hi there! I hope you all had a good week! Today I am here with a very happy update :) This week marked two months since I ended chemotherapy and I am very happy to report that I feel INCREDIBLE! Am I back to 100% of the old me? No. Am I feeling significantly better though? Absolutely. Not only am I feeling better, but I am starting to look like my former self again, which is a big morale booster!! Let's get to it:

Mentally/Emotionally/Spiritually

I cry happy tears all the dang time now. I'll be watching the kids play at a park, or snuggling Liam while we read a book, or listening to LG's imaginative play with her dolls, and all of a sudden I start tearing up. I cannot believe I almost lost this. When I got that call on February 8th that I had stage 4 cancer, my mind immediately went to "what if I die?" And I started spiraling, picturing all the parts of my children's lives I would miss out on. It is so easy to get caught in "autopilot" mode and just go through the motions of life without stopping to appreciate how truly beautiful the little things are. Not anymore. 

Physically

- I have hair!!!!!!!!!! It's super super short and gray, but it's hair!

 It is going to be a long time before it's long enough to be cute, so in the meantime, I bought another wig. Just like before, the pictures online were much different than how it looked when it arrived (why is this so hard?!?), but I ended up liking it so I kept it. It is much darker in person, I don't know why it is so light in pictures?

It’s different from my norm, but I really like it!

- I have eyebrows and eyelashes too! Check out those real brows and lashes! 

Woohoo! 

- I still experience muscle myalgia (pain) in my legs, but it is getting better. I used to need my Tramadol multiple times a day, but now I only take it three or four times a week. 

- I am still nowhere near being able to run, but walking has gotten much easier. I used to feel like I had spaghetti noodle legs and concrete feet, and that is dissipating. Hopefully within the next month, I will be able to start running again.  

- This is one I had forgotten to write about last month, but I have neuropathy. If you are unfamiliar, neuropathy is a loss of feeling, or a tingly feeling in your hands and feet. It is mostly in my fingertips, but has been improving significantly. I used to struggle with it a lot. It was hard to type, write, put on jewelry, open things like water bottles, etc. Now I am able to do most of those things again, although it is still harder than it was before.

I had another PET scan last week, and the results came back all clear. I loved getting this text message from my oncologist:

I am scheduled to get my port out next Friday, and I am looking forward to getting that over with. As Lily Grace put it this week, “Mommy, your port is the last thing. Once you’re done with that it’s really all over.” As far as I’m concerned, she’s right. Recovery might not be over, but the cancer chapter of my life sure is. 

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend! Today I am linking up with Andrea and Erika for Friday Favorites.

Post-Cancer/Chemo Recovery-- Month 1

 Good morning friends and happy Friday! I hope you all had a good week. We started school this week and I am so happy to report it has gone VERY WELL! 

Done with Chemo

 Good morning friends. I have been so looking forward to being able to write this post. As of this coming Wednesday, July 19th, I will be DONE WITH CHEMOTHERAPY. 

I have been praying for July 19th to hurry up and get here for months, and we are finally (almost) there.

Fair warning, this post will not be all sunshine and rainbows. I am going to be honest about how brutal this has been on my body and if you are a survivor and this may be triggering to you to read, you may want to stop now. My reason for wanting to be so honest is twofold: 

- I would hate for someone else going through chemo to come across this post and think "oh she handled it so well, what's wrong with me?" I want to be honest and give a realistic look at how hard this has been.

-  I plan to write posts in the future on how my recovery is going, and in order to truly show how I'm recovering, I need to be honest about where I'm starting. 

Life Lately

 Hello Friends and happy Friday! Today I want to share a little bit of what we've been up to lately. We have been busy! Back in April we were able to get away for a quick beach trip...

Health and Healing Through Food Part 1

 Good morning friends! I hope you all had a nice week. This was our first week back after spring break and it's funny to me how my kids reacted very differently to going back. Lily Grace couldn't get out the door fast enough to go see her teachers and her friends. She told me multiple times over spring break that she "didn't like breaks, I love school!" Liam on the other hand... also loves school, but is quite the homebody. Liam is the kid that loves school once he's there, but getting him out the door can be an ordeal. 😅 

Spring Cleaning and Purging

 Hello friends and happy Friday! We are starting off today's blog post with some FABULOUS news. I had my PET scan this week and got my results back... I can hardly believe it but I am very happy to say that I am officially IN REMISSION. My cancer is GONE!!! I had been told Hodgkins Lymphoma responds well to treatment, but we were all quite surprised at just how well I responded. Especially with it being stage 4. We were hoping to hear the cancer was shrinking, we were not expecting to hear the incredible news we received. 

I cannot help but love the symbolism behind getting such wonderful news right before Easter weekend. A period of darkness and despair followed by a period of light and hope. A period of new life. I swear the world just seems a little bit brighter to me now. Even more beautiful than it was before. 

While the scary part of this journey is over, I am still far from "done". I will need to finish the remainder of my chemotherapy, with a tentative last treatment date in mid-July. Apparently if I were to stop chemo now, there is a high chance that the cancer could come back. By finishing out the next 4 months we are ensuring that we have gotten every single cancer cell and have a much higher chance of being "cured" forever. While I very much hate chemo and don't want to finish this, I also don't want to have to start this all over again a year or so from now. I have already quit my job, lost my hair, had a port surgery, have a wonderful support system set up, etc... I need to just see this thing through to the end and then be done with it for good. 

Thank you for your prayers, your kind words, and EVERYTHING you have done to support me so far! We got wonderful news this week. Now we just need to finish this thing out!

Now, onto today's post...

This month I am attempting a "spring cleaning month" where I do a little reorganizing/purging every day throughout the month. This helps it to not feel overwhelming like it might if I tried to do it in one fell swoop. 

Fun with Wigs :)

Hi there and happy Monday! I hope you all had a good weekend. I was able to spend some great quality time with my two best friends yesterday and quality friend time is food for the soul! It really fills my cup to spend time with my two best girlfriends. Now I feel energized and ready to head into the week ahead. Hopefully you do too!

Today I am sharing all about my journey to find the "right" wig. Well let me tell you, it was quite the journey! I thought it would be as simple as "find one you like, buy it, all done," but that was not the case. 

For the most part, I am just staying at home or running light errands, so prior to finding a wig I walked around looking more or less like this:

Life Update 2

 Hello again friends. First of all, let me please start by saying THANK YOU. Thank you for your kind, encouraging comments. Your emails. Your prayers. Your generous things you've sent me (I'm blown away-- truly!). This experience has been difficult but it helps to know we have people in our corner praying for us and helping to alleviate some of this difficulty. When I started this blog almost 6 years ago I was a bored SAHM who was just looking for something to do. All of my friends were still working and sweet Lily Grace napped twice a day (man, it was easier back then-- hah!). I never thought anyone other than my family would read this, and yet God used it as a way to connect an incredible group of women who may otherwise never get to "meet" each other. Thank you, truly.

Life Update

 Hello there friends, long time no see. 

I have sat down at my computer a number of times over the past few weeks trying and trying to come up with the "right" words to say what has been going on with us lately, and honestly, it's all still so numb and surreal, the "right" words just aren't coming.